Are you QUEER enough?

RULZ to live by, or MY QUEER MANIFESTO!

WARNING! This is probably offensive, but is put out there in hopes of starting smart, thoughtful, fun dialogue. Deal?

Oh man, do I love me some queer theory.  I am a self-identified (though not pretentious...as this post will surely show) THEORY NERD! I've also got a bit of the super-community-whore in me as well.  I love being part of communities.  Getting involved, making food, making friends...It's my jam.  So what could be more interesting to me than the myriad of conversations I've been having recently about the Queer Community.  

These conversations are commonly in this vein: "I love the queer community, but I find it can be very unfriendly", or "I don't feel like I'm accepted in the queer community because I don't LOOK queer", or...there's always the good old, "I think I'm more part of the lesbian community than the queer community".  I have some strong reactions to these comments.

So, I thought I'd write about what QUEER means to me.  The hard and fast RULZ! of being queer (tongue in cheek here people, obvi there aren't rules).  But here's how I know a queer when I see 'em.

Rule #1.  Anyone can be queer.

Yup.  You heard me.  Anyone.  Straight, white, cis-gender, non-disabled, monogamous, vanilla, rich, stereotypically fit and attractive frat boys can be queer. Stop freaking. Read on to rule #2

Rule #2 Being queer is political, behavioral, as well as community based.

I will consider you queer if you a) support queer politics through words and actions in your life (which I see as feminist, focusing on bringing attention to how power and privilege work in our world, mostly to the disadvantage of people of color, poor people, GSM* people, fat people, people in the disability community, etc..) b) want to be in the queer community and c) support other people being queer in the ways that make them happy.

*Have you guys heard of GSM?  It stands for Gender and Sexuality Minority.  I think this acronym should include people who are into polyamory, BDSM, and sex work as well as the LGBTIQQA crowd.  Why?  Well because I still think that's a minority of people, and the majority of folks have some feelings about those sexual practices...mostly negative feelings.  So....I have started using GSM instead of LGBT a lot of times. And! I'd put GSMers into the queer pot as well.  Well, except for those who don't want to be in the pot.  They don't have to get into the pot if they don't want to.

Rule #3 You probably have a strong affinity for glitter, rainbows, and unicorns.  And Lady Gaga.

I can't explain this rule.  I just know it to be true in my experience.  If you hate these things, you can still totally be allowed into my queer club (which I didn't know I had til right then)...but I bet you're just SAYING you don't like them to be contrary.  But maybe I'm wrong, maybe you really hate those things even though you're queer.  That's cool.  You're rare, friend.  

My rulz of queerness have officially ended.  

What's the point?  Mostly I want the amazingly engaged, active, subversive and transformative power that I see harnessed within the queer community to be open to people who care about being engaged, active, subversive and transformative.  I don't want people to feel awkward or unwelcomed because they're not "gay enough", "queer enough" or "trans enough".  I want people who are radical to be fucking friendly to each other.  I want people who grew up wearing polo shirts and who still wear polo shirts, because that's how they're comfortable...to sit next to a totally DIY grunge outfitted kid and be able to talk turkey about making this world DIFFERENT and BETTER.  

This doesn't mean I don't support SAFE SPACES.  I do.  I think having space where people who share specific experiences can get together and talk shop or support each other is REALLY important.  I'm mostly saying that I wish being queer wasn't JUST about who you wanna get it on with, or being gendervariant.  I wish being queer meant what it says on the bumper sticker in my car:

 As opposed to this:

So.  Do you identify as queer?  I wanna know, What makes you queer?  

love!

Donkey

wank off wednesday: Hide/Seek is Magic

indulge me, your friend pumpernickel, in my need to let slip my past life as an art historian.

where to start, where to start... In October 2010, the National Portrait Gallery, Smithsonian, curated an uncharacteristically progressive and queer-aware show, Hide/Seek.  It claimed to be "the first major museum exhibition to focus on sexual difference in the making of modern american portraiture." In November the NPG responded to a Catholic League post that the David Wojnarowicz, "Fire in my Belly" video with ants crawling on a crucifix was too much to smut for their tax dollars to bear. The NPG conceded and took the piece down officially signing their name in the big book of censorship that keeps on growing. 

here's the thing: I am secretly thankful to our conservative counterparts --not catholics mind you, just folks that align themselves with quieting personal expression. Thank you conservative letter writers for reminding me that magic still exists. Reminding me that what you see gets translated until it suddenly, magically feels fire in your own bellies. That sexuality is undeniably palpable and you feel it too and you are scared of it because it is just that heavy. That as the proverb goes: obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection; such a real outcome from an idea is surely magic. Yes! In the way that Sarah Silverman meant when she said "Jesus is Magic". That way! In that way that believes that objects outside the body can still alchemically change once they hit your tongue. In the way that reminds me that art and sexuality, two elusive intangible sciences are still dangerous. Thank you for reminding me that others can see that and that I must take this news as seriously as humanly possible. Thank you because I sometimes forget that expressing oneself can be a matter of life or death. I sometimes get very tired of being an huberist that doesn't believe in magic, but it is times like this that I feel cured.

this is all just a pre-game speech to remind myself why it's important to be out there doing real things about very hard to pin-down topics. the reason we three screws are together doing the work we do is because there's not enough of us writing letters/blogs/curriculums/books/policies about the things that are important to us. there's room in this sandbox for all of us, we'd love to share if you want to jump in. 

It Gets Better - Philly Style!

A few months back during the intense string of GLBTQ kids committing suicide due to bullying, sex educator/advice columnist Dan Savage decided to do something about it and make sure that queer kids know that life is different after high school.  Starting with a YouTube video of he and partner Terry talking about their experiences of life improving, Savage kicked off the “It Gets Better” project, for folks to share their own messages of support and love. Savage’s video quickly inspired thousands of others to follow suit and create videos of their own – all with the same goal of helping GLBTQ kids feel loved and supported.

This week Philly has joined the ranks and created our own message of caring and support!  A whole heap of folks that the Screws love dearly, including director Mel Orpen (the looker with the red bandana and checked shirt who starts talking at about 4:30 – so cute, right?), worked super hard to make this fabulous video happen and we couldn’t be happier showing our own support for such a brave and heartfelt video.  Thanks to everyone who was involved with this amazing video.



xoxo

-JD

ps. The only reason the Screws aren't included is that we were away in Rhode Island for the Center For Sexual Pleasure and Health conference.  Sigh - there are so many wonderful things going on in this world at the same time!