The Power Of Porno - A Personal Adventure In Watching Dirty Movies

Yep, and get paid to do it!While working at a porn site for the last four years, I’ve made it my mission to promote all of the way that porno can be awesome.  One of the big ways that I’ve talked a bunch about is bringing porn into your relationship and watching it together.  Not only can it be a total turn on and a really fun experience, it can also be educational, a conversation starter, and even a tool that folks can use to think about their own sexuality in different ways.  Oh, porn, you are so wise…  That said, I felt it important to bring this story to the table and let you have a look at me incorporating porno into my own life.  I don’t usually talk about my personal sexy life for work, but I was compelled to share this time through my labor of love (Screws!) and I know you will respect and embrace my journey.  What can I say, I’m a sex educator through and through and I like to practice what I preach. 

I’ve recently began a new relationship with a fantastic fellow for whom I feel quite strongly.  He shares the same amount of perviness that pumps through my own bloodstream and it has been a treat to explore and go on adventures together.  One of these adventures is watching porn.  A few weeks back, I mentioned a bunch of movies and stars I wanted to bring to his attention because they are really fucking awesome.  Don’t get it wrong, the man is no porn novice, but I just happen to be so overtly inundated with dirty movies that I’ve somehow crawled myself up to an ‘expert’ level in some regards.  Not only was he super game to watch, he was excited to watch with me.  Apparently he had plenty of experience incorporating porn into his sex life in the past, but never with porn that he necessarily could identify with, and I had little to no prior porn viewings with partners, so we were both excited to give it a go.

 Brunch Bunch... yum!One of the kinds of porn I really wanted to share was queer porn.  I wasn’t sure of his experiences with queer porn, especially since it’s a pretty niche and new genre, and I really wanted to show specific movies and scenes that I found über hot.  Also, we are both big old queers, and I liked the idea of us watching people like us fuck on screen.  And now that the queer porn market is growing, there are a whole bunch of different movies to choose from that feature my kind of femme ladies getting busy with his kind of hot, tattooed trans dudes.  (You have no idea how flushed I got just writing that sentence…)  So on one particular date night, we ordered in a pizza, and settled in to take a look at Dolores Park Studios’ Brunch Bunch, one of HM4Her’s newest queer additions. (Note: This is NOT a commercial for HotMoviesForHer, it's just where I work and I knew where I could easily find the movie.)

It turns out that he didn’t have too much experience with queer porn at all.  He’d been watching porn for years and years, but mostly mainstream and fetish movies, which is what I had figured the case would be.  Apparently queer porn isn’t all that well known, especially to a different generation of queers.  While on one hand I get that, I am still so saturated with hot queers on film that I am a little surprised when folks don’t know what I’m talking about.  It just goes to show that my job is doing the important work by getting hot dirty movies to the masses.  I’ve never felt more like Mother Theresa… anyway, back to our regularly scheduled smut consuming discussion.

So yes, this was my guy’s first experience watching trans guys fuck on film, and not only did it make both of us wicked hot (he by watching it, me by watching him watch it), we ended up with a deeper result as well.

April and I in Toronto for the Feminist Porn Awards!For him, seeing trans men on film getting fucked (just the language I am using, not the words other folks may use*) and still maintaining their masculinity helped ease his mind about what enjoying those types of experiences means when it comes to feeling like a man.  Hell, just seeing someone who has a body/identity like yours in a sexy role and being sexually desired can be transformative.  I know that watching zaftig hotties like April Flores and Courtney Trouble have amazing sex has positively influenced my own sexual self image, so I can somewhat understand those pangs of recognition.  I also can’t forget to mention that it’s a real fucking turn-on to watch folks like you get off.  Well, at least we really liked it.

It felt really special and intimate to share this experience, as well as got us both totally rearing to go, which we soon did.  I don’t even think we made it past scene two before getting frisky on the couch and heading to the bedroom, which clearly means there is definitely a second viewing in our future.  I really loved that I was able to offer him something that made him feel so good – and made him feel as sexy as I think he is.  We had some wicked hot action that night (and every other night, to boot!)

I am a firm believer that porn can be totally empowering and thought-provoking and really help people get to a higher place sexually.  It’s one of the reasons I love my job and spend so much time preaching the porno gospel.  And because I have dedicated my life to fighting the sex positive fight, I took the lessons of this personal experience and offered it to a larger group, bringing queer and trans porn to the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference, where I did a workshop with the amazing Drew Deveaux (who is actually in Brunch Bunch!).

To make this long story short, I learn new things about porn all the time, and I am so excited that I get to share them with the people I love, including you guys. 

[*As a side for readers that may not understand what I mean – being fucking in a vagina does not make you a woman.  It just means that you are enjoying genitals that get you hot.  Many trans dudes still use the bits they were born with, even if they don’t necessarily call it the medical names they are given, or even identify with it at all.  There are also trans dudes that love their vaginas loudly and proudly – just look at our friend Buck Angel, the self described Man With A Pussy!]

Thanks for taking the time to read this.  I hope it sticks with you and plants seeds about the ways porn can do more than just get you off.

xoxo
-J.D.